It’s been a few months since I’ve hopped on here. I have learned more about myself; the ugly side and all. You can see by the title that the topic is temperament, more specifically anger and rage. I had spent this summer traveling to California, Mississippi, Germany, and even Greece! It was an amazing 3 months of my life, but I developed a negative side to me that I was not use to. I had gotten back together with my ex-husband, thinking it was the best decision. In the past on this blog, we have talked about marriage and domestic abuse. Sadly, this was occurring again, and I didn’t catch the red flags…again. But it is very interesting how the body wants to maintain balance, a homeostasis if you will. So instead of just getting up and leaving, I was changing into a more negative person to be able to compromise for the negativity being directed at me. I ended up hearing myself say words and sentences that I would never say, and they were so deeply rooted in anger and rage. They say “you are who you surround yourself with”, so since my ex couldn’t control his temper and was quite impulsive, I began acting in the same way. I learned that he wouldn’t understand how I felt if I didn’t act in that way. So I became a person I didn’t recognize. After going in circles for months, I could not take it anymore and so I had to leave. It was like the person I know I am, was yelling at me to break free from all of this. How do you expect a life giving person to survive by feeding them negativity? What do you think the result would be?

God tells us how to control our anger. It’s not by reacting impulsively and yelling at the other person, it’s not by revenge, and it’s not by verbal abuse. He says for us not to sin by letting anger control us, but instead to think about it overnight and remain silent (Psalms 4:4). A lot of people when giving advise to newly weds, say “don’t go to bed angry”, but one thing they forget to mention is the fact that you don’t need to solve the problem that night. I always thought that in order to go to bed not angry, there has to be a resolution to the problem. When reading this verse, we can see the God says for us not to go to bed angry, but the problem doesn’t have to be solved that night either. He tells us to think about it. That is just one of the things we learned when we were kids, “think before you speak”.

Anger is an emotion that can easily have access to your life. It is easy to give it credibility. That is how it survives. There are so many reasons I could be angry right now. I could be angry that I threw the last 6 months down the drain, or that I put myself in the same situation I was trying to get out of. I could also have the thought that maybe I wouldn’t have gotten injured if I never gotten back together with my ex. I know last year I had a lot of anger and a lot of it was directed towards him. But in the end, anger is not life giving. It will never produce a positive outcome in your life. I realize that I could be angry right now at so much, but there is no need for me to be angry. Even though this summer could feel like it was all a waste, I remind myself that I was able to travel out of the country! By not being in Nebraska, I was also able to change some basic lifestyle habits that I had tried to change for years. I learned a lot about myself this summer and really just saw myself grow up a little more. I came back to Nebraska more responsible and mature (I believe). But I say all of this because anger should never be the driving force in your life. Never let the things you do or say be rooted in anger because God says that “anger gives a foothold to the devil” (Ephesians 4:27). Negativity is where the devil reigns. So give it some time, think about it before you say or do anything. Everybody deserves respect.

I hope that this has brought some level of clarity, and you were able to get something out of it. Remember that God has identified you as his own. If you angry and don’t know what to do with that anger, bring it to God. Have him help you through that situation.

Best,

Emily