I have been on this subject for a while lately, studying it and trying to understand it. I wrote something on Facebook not too long ago about this in a way explaining how we are naturally selfish creatures born into a sinful world due to the actions of our ancestors Adam and Eve. God created Earth to be a domain for man to rule over, but when Adam and Eve became convinced from the devils seed of doubt, that is when God took that stewardship away from Adam. This story is a perfect description of what I am talking about; is it our will or God’s will?

Right now, I am a 22 year old college student who is married and is going through a divorce. That is very, very rare for someone my age. I bet a lot of things are going through your head, so curious to know more about it, but I am not going to talk about that right now. I am very young to be someone to say they are divorced, and honestly that is really heartbreaking for me to say and is hard to deal with sometimes because it feels like an identity. It is like we all walk around on Earth with an identity of our name, age, occupation, where we reside, and our relationship status. Even if we don’t say it, it’s like it is hovering over our heads. It’s an uncomfortable feeling really. Getting divorced in my family is something that doesn’t happen. We all hold up to the same belief that God is the uniting factor in a Marriage and it should not be broken. This is what really makes it hard for me to follow through with, but I’ll talk about this more in a second. Ever since I made the choice to get a divorce, which I never ever ever wanted, I have been thinking about my own behaviors, studying my personal past, asking myself yes or no questions in thought of bettering myself. It took a lot of strength, but God gave that strength to me a long time ago and He knew I needed it for this period in my life. I have actually rekindled my relationship with Christ which I felt was lost in my marriage. I have been at it for a couple of months now and have been feeling clearer everyday. I have been reading everyday, whether it’s a book about God and the Kingdom he created for us or it’s scripture from the Bible that I am studying. This past week or so I have had this sort of message come to me over and over again in different forms. It has humbled me in a way and also brought me comfort.

As I talked about above, God created Adam to be the “manager” of Earth if you want to say, since God is the true overall owner. Eve was then created for Adam by God as His last creation, the final touch. She brought beauty and showed the elegant side of God that Adam did not posses. God told Adam to not eat from the tree in the Garden of Eden. As Adam knew this, he passed it to the woman so she knew as well. When the devil came to attack, he decided to go after the beauty. Once she became convinced of the slightest doubt in God, that He was withholding knowledge, then that is when she took a bite from the apple. Adam was standing there watching, and not a word was said from his mouth. In his passiveness, he allowed it and also ate from the same fruit. Immediately they felt as the bible says, “naked”. Think about it, before that, they did not feel that way. There was no imperfections sewn into their mind. Even God said “who told you that you were naked?” God then said to the man and the woman, their curses. Pregnancy for Eve was now to be painful (contractions and the giving birth part), there will be a sense of control that she will want to have but will not be given it. Her husband will rule over her. To Adam, He said that since he was passive and listened to his wife and ate from the tree when He directly said not to, the rest of his life, he will be a working man, making a living and struggling at times to do so. He also says that by the hard work Adam does, he will have food to eat until he dies. The imagery that God uses is incredible. He says “by the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat until you return to the ground from which you were made. For you were made from dust, and to dust you will return.” (Gen. 3:19 NLT).

I feel like a lot of us doesn’t want to say it, but we are all a lot like Adam and Eve. We like to listen to our fleshly desires and do what makes us feel good and not what God want for us. Sometimes our idea of what is perfect for us isn’t always what God says is perfect for us. As I have been studying the relation between our fleshly desires and the will of God, I have noticed that a lot of my choices I have made have been of the flesh. It is honestly really hard to not let the world get caught up in your business to make a decision. Think about it, (to my younger generation) when you go on social media, do you feel like you have to act a certain way on it or post only specific things because that is the social norm? If you look across social media, no one really posts what makes them, them. It seems like everyone is trying to be like everyone else and follow these secret rules and guidelines to social media. Who told you that you had to act that way and who told you not to post that cute photo of your dog instead of that trendy Christmas photo that everyone does? Who told you that you need to have 100+ likes in order to feel fulfilled and like you are noticed? Who told you that if you have 1000 followers then you are respectable but if you have 400 or less then you are a weirdo? What is up with all of these assumptions that is causing us to give insufficient labels and identities to our life? As I have been reflecting, I have been studying what a marriage is according to the Bible. In the bible we see Isaac and Rebecca becoming married by simply entering a tent. When one becomes married, the man leaves his father and mother and becomes joined to his wife, and the two becomes one flesh. Marriage is also then a covenant relationship between a man and a woman BEFORE God and is ENDORSED by God. In God’s will, will a marriage be sufficient. In Matthew 19, He quotes Genesis about marriage because He believes it to still be valid, and then he add His own comment saying “therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Jesus believes marriage is God-ordained. It never said that Isaac and Rebecca signed any papers or certificate to certify their marriage. Why? because marriage is an institution of God, not of the flesh or of the state. Marriage is the will of God playing at hand between two people. Since that is what a marriage is, then it just shows that my marriage was not endorsed by God. It was not his will, but my own will. Listening to what I thought was perfect for me was not the perfect plan God actually had in store for me, but yet He let me take that path in order to learn what His will is. Now that I am getting divorced, I am on a new path with God. I’m listening with a careful ear to what God has for me. Listening to make sure I am saying “Yes” to the right things and “No” to the right things. With every decision and choice I am making now, I am learning to ask myself “is this Gods will or my own?”, and maybe that may be something you may need to ask yourself as well.

Prayer: As you pray tonight, ask for God to clear any distractions and to help you surrender to Him. Pray the way Jesus prayed in the garden. May you trade your will for God’s will no matter what, knowing that it is for the best.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24 NKJV

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NKJV

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:7 NKJV

Do not be equally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

2 Corinthians 6:14 NKJV

Love, Emily